Niggas at the Crib – In theatres soon
Starring Meagan Good
As I’m sure most of you already know, a new Madea movie came out this past weekend. I can’t be bothered to look up the full title, so for the remainder of this post, I’ll just refer to it as Gay Nigga in a Dress Part 12. Between the previews for this and Jumping the Broom (due out in a couple of weeks), I’ve finally reached my breaking point for seeing the same damn movies being made over and over again. It’s like every black filmmaker is obligated to mix & match shit from this list in order to make a movie:
- A strong independent black woman who doesn’t need a man…even though the entire movie is about her needing a man
- A sensitive black man who isn’t deep enough in the plantation for the strong independent black woman
- A slightly played-out rapper/R&B singer
- A black comedian with one funny line in the entire movie (which has already been used to death in the previews)
- A wise matriarch who gives incoherent advice (bonus points if it’s a man in drag)
- A disjointed family who needs to reconnect
- A sassy black woman who provides “comedic” relief (bonus points if it’s a man in drag)
- A hater who stands in the way of the strong independent black woman’s happiness
- A white person who has absolutely business in the movie (I see you, Not Easily Broken)
- Church service at the end (bonus points for a wedding)
8/10th of this has been in practically every black movie created since 2000. Oh, and it’s pretty much a guarantee that the film will be set within a 20-mile radius, so I didn’t even bother making that an option. Black people apparently don’t go on adventures. (Yeah, I’m mad that I haven’t gotten any calls about Black to the Future yet).
Anyway – for the past 15 minutes, I’ve poured my blood, sweat and tears into a film I like to call: Niggas at the Crib. I’m throwing in the towel and going for that Tyler Perry money. (To all my female readers: Please try your best to refrain from throwing your panties in my direction while I drop this heater).
