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Is it really cheaper to keep her?

May 14, 2010 By: HNIC Category: Black Women

A few days ago, I was checking out some stories from the team over at This is Why U Broke about their financial fuck-ups of the past. They were really interesting. Luckily, I’ve yet to find myself in the middle of any unmanageable debt or crippling financial habits. At 19, working one of my first jobs at the mall, I tried helping a friend out with her commission by signing up for a Macy’s card. I got buckwild with it ONE time, saw how interest was breaking off in my ass, and it was a wrap. Then, a couple of years ago, I let American Express gas me up with a supposedly exclusive Plum Card; but after realizing that it was a credit card and not a fashion accessory, I pulled back on it before things got out of hand. Pretty tame experiences. And I’ve been even more tame ever since.


I try not to spend anything I don’t have, and I make a conscious effort to avoid bad situations. Typically, “bad situations” would conjure up images of ridiculous home loans, bad car notes and whatnot – but there’s one situation in particular that I try to keep my eye on: women.


I’m in my early 20’s and did the whole college thing. Given that, many of the girls in my vicinity are knee-deep not only in the materialism that tends to trap up young people’s finances, but student loans as well. As if maintaining a closet full of clothes isn’t hard enough, they want a wall full of diplomas to top it off. I know 21-24 year-old women who are $70,000-$100,000 in the hole already and haven’t done a lick of grad, medical or law school yet. And still plan to.


Sometimes I wonder if these are the same types of women who you see crying on CNN about how they can’t find any “good black men.” Hell, these men are probably somewhere trying to avoid your massive debt.


As I get older, I’m starting to pay more and more attention to financial situations, and a lot of so-called “independent” women really aren’t that independent at all. Though a man may not be taking care of them, Mastercard and the local credit union are. After all the dust has settled from the status symbols and accomplishments, there’s a huge $100,000 elephant in the room for the man who chooses to step up.


I don’t want to sound as if I’m throwing rocks from my throne, but I do realize that if I were to end up with a woman like this, her debt is mine too; and that all the precautions I’ve taken to protect my own situation really wouldn’t matter anymore. My biggest vice is spending $25 a week on books and eating out, and I’m matched up with some chick who thinks she’s Kimora Lee Simmons? Damn right I’m concerned.


A few weeks ago, I got wind of a study claiming that the median wealth of single black women is $5 (link). And you know what? I’d actually be happy to get my hands on one of these $5 black women. That’s how sad it is out here.


Question to readers: Do you think it’s wrong to disqualify somebody because of their debt or spending habits? Granted, it can be fixed – but should it be done on your time? (women can answer too. I know some guys who are just as bad).


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3 Comments to “Is it really cheaper to keep her?”


  1. This ninja said captian save a credit score HAHAH

    Awesome post!! Actually makes me think about afew things…

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  2. lol money management is key!

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  3. I can honestly say that I donot have a credit card or an overdraft on my account for a reason, I don’t want to get stuck trying to pay back bills with money I don’t have…sometimes I wish I had an emergency cushion to fall back on but I don’t have that either, so …a man would not inherit my debts but he could not relax spending my cash neither :-)

    3


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