20 Signs You Might Be a Hoodrat
1. When meeting a new man, your first instinct is to ask him “Do you have a job?”, as opposed to “What do you do?”
2. You actually frame those club pics with the airbrushed backgrounds
3. You consider Red Lobster biscuits a delicacy
4. Your grandmother knows who Keyshia Cole is
5. You find it charming when men turn on “I Can Tell” by the 504 Boyz around you.
6. You brag about having a credit card
7. Your man bought you a Katt Williams DVD and a bottle of Hennessy for Valentine’s Day
8. Your kids call you by your first name
9. You’re 33 years old and still allow men to give you promise rings
10. You beat a chick’s ass on graduation day. Your mother was your accomplice. (Shoutout to the Class of ’05)
11. You walk so hard that your head waggles
12. You feed Hawaiian Punch and ribs to your 3 month old baby
13. Your “modeling shoots” take place in some nigga’s den
14. You carry your purse on the inside of your wrist
15. You think women who exercise are bougie
16. You think it’s cute that you don’t know how to pronounce certain words
17. You thought Baby Boy had a fairytale ending
18. You think it’s your 6 year-old’s responsibility to wake himself up for school
19. You quote The Player’s Club for wisdom
20. You’ve ever started a sentence with “Unh uh, unh uh”
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20 more signs you might be a hoodrat
some people are re-evaluating their lives lol
1If you have more than one babydaddy that lives on the same block.
2—if you pop your tongue all the time, making that "psthopfth" sound. i have no idea how to spell it.
–if you say "kyuurte" instead of "cute"
–you start every other sentence with the word "nigga," all the while saying it in this high, girly-yet-ghetto-toned voice
–if you are in highschool and you think gold teeth are back-2-school gear (yeah, you brittnay)
–if you punch the telephone keys with your knuckles because your nails wont allow you to use your fingers
–you go around with baby powder on your chest and, for some reason, you think its cute
–the swoop. i said it. the swoop. (yeah, you "swoop queen." girl i dont even know your real name)
–if you wear vaseline and black lipliner on your lips (brittnay, again, and chloe)
–jelly sandals
–if you think every other thing your friend says is "deep"
–if you feature yourself on youtube doing the new orleans bounce
–if you wear those gelled-up swoops with weaved-up pony tails that makes it looks like an invisible hand is jerking your head to the back and side…and its also in a hot red shade
–if you think classy, everyday makeup is white eyeliner slicked over the upperlid/lashline
???
3more
–if you dye your hair with koolaid
–if you think tyler perry is an artist/ if you think his films are sophisticated or deep
–if you go around iterating and reiterating "i am a grown ass woman" from the time you turn 12 to the day you give up the ghost
–everytime you go out, you always, always order hotwings–extra hot
–you think its cute to eat hot fries or hot cheetos, then go around with the red spice still staining your thumb and index finger
–you eat hot fries or hot wings with a flair, using only your index finger and thumb to hold the cheeto, with your pinky (and/or other fingers) pointing up, delicately extending your tongue to receive the morsel and quietly sliding it into your mouth with your lips pursed. you call this "eating like a lady." hot cheetos, people!
–you crack your gum while you pat your itchy head just before you roll your eyes
–you call your "gentleman"-friends your "mens." "yup, girl, its just the first day of school and i already got five numbers. how many you got?" "girl, i got one. you got a lot of mens." yes. this is a conversation i overheard one day.
–another conversation i overheard that leads me to believe i was listening in on "a hoodrat's tale": "girl, i done pulled so many today, so i can already see i got potential. just wait til i get dis weave in and you gon see." umph. sad.
4i’m crying over here…but don’t be hating on them Chedder Bay biscuits
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