20 More Signs You Might Be a Hoodrat
1. You tilt your head back to eat chips
2. Ramen noodle recipes have been passed down in your family for three generations
3. You still use MySpace and/or BlackPlanet
4. Your man makes $80 a week selling DVDs and you’re fine being his side chick
5. A 33 year-old man telling you that he’s “trying to get his rap career off the ground” doesn’t bother you
6. You never shut up about how wack Metro PCS is
7. In the last 24 hours, you’ve eaten at least 2 of the following: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Hot Fries, a Chick-O-Stick or a corned beef sandwich
8. You’ve ruined your 3 year-old’s credit
9. Olive Garden is the flyest restaurant you can name off the top of your head
10. You take horoscopes way too seriously (e.g. “He stole from my grandmother, but he’s an Aries, so I know he’s a good dude”)
11. Your weave looks like a Daniel Boone hat and you still think you’re a “bad bitch”
12. You spent more time planning your visit to Applebee’s last week than you spent planning to have your kids
13. You wear a bomber jacket with EVERYTHING
14. You have your 9 year-old son convinced that he’s the “man of the house”
15. You fuck for weed
16. You just got your hair done, but your kids are eating honey buns for dinner
17. You don’t take offense when a man beeps his horn while picking you up for a date. You’re just happy he has a car.
18. “What’s a date?” just went through your head
19. You yell at your kids for giving you stretch marks
20. You dropped out of massage therapy school because they didn’t have AKA’s
___
20 signs you might be a hoodrat: Part I
There are 4 or more generations of your family in the home you reside in.\
1The only fruit your kids get is purple drank and cherry kool-aid
You know what Rainbow’s, Ross, and 5,7,9′s return policy is
You have a preferred caseworker
Zane is too intellectual for you
You drink/smoke after strangers
You’ve had more abortions than graduations
You have a 5 year old in pullups
Every minor in your household has a different last name
All of your visitors arrive after 11
Your child is 12 and has never had pajamas
Your job neither requires a GED nor discourages neck tats
OKAY If you use Miracle Whip instead of Mayonnaise for your Potato Salad, you just might be a hoodrat. LOL!!
2You might be a HOODRAT if you’re using hand soap or body wash as dishwashing liquid because you forgot to buy some at the store.
3You might be a HOODRAT you use napkins, paper towels, and Kleenex as toilet paper, since you forgot to also buy that too at the store when you went. Ya feel me? LMFAO……XD
4You know you’re a hoodrat if you’re dating a man who has never invited you to his place and always has to meet you at yours or a motel. Here’s a clue hoodrats if a man hasnt invited you to his place of residence chances likely he’s married, involved with a girlfriend, or doesnt want you around his house. You know you’re a hoodrat if you think Facebook and MySpace is the ideal place to find a man when nearly half the men on these social networking sites are married or involved with a girlfriend.
5